The Awful German Language

I am a language geek, and I’m proud of it. I know its’t not always obvious in this blog, but I am not a native English speaker, and I never proofread my posts (I’m not much of a perfectionist..). I came across a text by Mark Twain while I was in secondary school, going through my fifth year of German. The text was published as an appendix to ‘A Tramp Abroad’. I was only days away from an exam or important test and was given this text to read by a friend. And boy does Twain put words to some of the frustrations I was faced with:

“Every time I think I have got one of these four confusing “cases” where I am master of it, a seemingly insignificant preposition intrudes itself into my sentence, clothed with an awful and unsuspected power, and crumbles the ground from under me.”

Anyone who has attended any German classes in Norway know at least one group of prepositions by heart (aus, bei, mit, nach, seit, von, zu) and unfortunately for many of us, when trying to utter a sentence in German any preposition will trigger these lists. I am one of those who made it through the German classes quite well, as long as I had a dictionary nearby, and the tests were written. When trying to speak German, I stink. A sentence, or the attempt to answer a question using a full sentence, usually results in:

Ehm, ja, der, nein, das, nein, nein, die Kirche ist in (then the head races: an, auf, hinter, in, neben, unter, vor, zwischen – moving indicates accusative, no movement is dative) das, ehm, nein (ehm, the gender of Park? der Park? das Park? die Park? ‘der’ feels more natural, I’ll go for that) der, nein, scheisse (if Park is masculine and the church is in the park, it is not moving, Park must thus be in dative) der, den, dem, ja, DEM, die Kirche ist in dem Park! Nein! (fuck! ‘in’ and ‘dem’ gives ‘im’. Try again) Die kirche ist im Park!! Ja, die Kirche ist im Park!! (But by this time the poor Germans have already found the church…)

Twain deals well with the problems related to linguistic gender in German, but also quite fittingly describe the syntax (how sentences are created):

“An average sentence, in a German newspaper, is a sublime and impressive curiosity; it occupies a quarter of a column; it contains all the ten parts of speech—not in regular order, but mixed; it is built mainly of compound words constructed by the writer on the spot, and not to be found in any dictionary—six or seven words compacted into one, without joint or seam—that is, without hyphens; it treats of fourteen or fifteen different subjects, each enclosed in a parenthesis of its own, with here and there extra parentheses, making pens with pens: finally, all the parentheses and reparentheses are massed together between a couple of king-parentheses, one of which is placed in the first line of the majestic sentence and the other in the middle of the last line of it—after which comes the verb, and you find out for the first time what the man has been talking about; and after the verb—merely by way of ornament, as far as I can make out—the writer shovels in “Haben Sind Gewesen Gehabt Haben Geworden Sein,” or words to that effect, and the monument is finished.”

You can read the text in its entirety here.

Relaxing in the Summer Sun

In case you had forgotten, this is what relaxing in the sun looks like.

This is Dundee, my four-legged baby girl who knows better than anyone to enjoy the warmth of the sun. Or, what I think is more politically correct in this case, the warmth of the floor-boards that the sun has heated for a wee while. Anyway, I think we can all learn a little from this wee, furry, creature.

Enjoy your days off 🙂

Bathing in June

Living somewhere the temperature varies between 11 degrees C to almost 25 degrees in one week in late June, outside swimming is not my first priority. I can’t go an entire summer without testing (either) the rivers, lakes or salt water, but I’d rather wait until August, when the temperature is more likely to have reached a two digit number.

Until then we have to make do with what we have.

In about 20 degrees and under the warmth of the sun, a puddle can be just as much fun, especially if you’re only two. Son is having the time of his life splashing around.

Hope you have a great summer and get to splash around as much as your heart desires 🙂

Decorating for children

I came across one of those pink, Norwegian, interior design blogs, and saw someone who had payed quite a bit for a what seemed like very little work. It was a children’s song written black-on-white with a few words highlighted in a different colour. The song was then framed in what looked like just a simple IKEA frame.

I had a few frames lying about after we framed some of Son’s amazing art productions, see this post. I used one  about 20x30cm (about 7×11 inches), then spent a few minutes on the computer, and then had a result that I think looks kind of cute. It’s cheap, it’s personal and it looks good on the wall in Son’s room.

 

Making out the make-up mystery

Unfortunately for me I skipped out on the mandatory ‘how to apply make-up without looking like a tart’ education when I was in my early teens. I have just assumed that everyone else was taught or, one way or the other, picked up on how to do these things. I never did. Or, well, I did to some extent, but the knowledge was limited to knowing what the various products were: mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, and how to apply them, which was again very limited.

I thought, as I said, that everyone else knew much more about this than I did. But, when talking to a good friend of mine, a successful, bright and highly intelligent young woman, had never taken time to learn more about this than I had.

During my maternity leave (which was little on the long side) I found myself with quite a lot of extra time on my hands (I have a quiet child who is rarely up to no good) and decided to find out some more about these things that until then had been rather lost on me. YouTube became my best friend.

I came across this wonderful woman with the most delightful accent. And I now, if nothing else, feel more confident about eyeshadows, blending colours, mixing colours and exactly how to shake my head when applying mascara 😉 Hope you pick up a few tricks, or at least enjoy listening to the accent.

 

Gelato al Limone

Most of my summers growing up included a few weeks in Italy. The Italian ‘gelato’ has thus become a necessary supplement for an acceptable summer. Unfortunately I haven’t spent too many summers in Italy after moving on my own, and as ice-cream is a wee bit difficult to import, I have now bought an ice-cream maker and am on the search for a recipe for proper Italian ‘Gelato al Limone’ – lemon ice-cream.

Many years back I tried lemon ice-cream in Norway. I was close to tears when I tasted it. It tasted like frozen, thick McDonalds-inspired milkshake. It was sickening. The Italian lemon ice-cream on the other hand is just wonderful. The fat content is lower (the sugar content is still through the roof) which makes it thinner, and more refreshing. It’s like a creamy sorbet and must be tried.

I have so far tried one recipe, and though delicious, it’s not as soft and creamy as it should be. It is a tasty ice-cream, and has been added to my book of recipes, but it’s not quite the ‘gelato al limone’ I’m looking for.

You need:

4 dl of water

4 dl of sugar

2,5 dl of milk

2,8 dl of lemons (that was about 5 lemons)

2 egg whites

Dissolve the sugar in simmering water. Then, and do this is the following order: add the lemon juice to the water before you add the milk (I tried to save a wee bit of time and added the milk to the lemon juice *facepalm*). Whisk the egg whites and gently stir in with the rest.

Put the mix the in the fridge until properly cold before using the ice-cream maker. I have obviously not invested enough money in my ice-cream maker, and thus never got more than slush, but after half a day in the freezer (stirring once or twice) the texture was as good as it gets.

Summer cake

Nothing says summer like this cake does. It should be eaten outside on a sunny day, with a glass of champagne on the side along with fresh strawberries and raspberries. I served this along with the Oreo cake last week and they were both well received.

The recipe is from Manuela’s Passion for Baking, a truly calorie-rich food-blog.

 

The cake is made up of two layers, for the first you need:

170 grams of ground almonds

3 eggs

175 grams of sugar

Whisk the eggs and the sugar until white, then add the ground almonds. Cook at 180 degrees for about 25 minutes.

 

Second layer:

250 grams of sugar

3 egg whites

1 egg

50 ml of lemon juice

The zest of about 2 lemons

65 grams of flour

A pinch of salt

The juice from 275 frozen raspberries

The only trick to the second layer is the raspberries. Put the amount you need in a microwave and heat them up a bit. Make sure they are slushy before you try to use them. Sieve the raspberries so that you end up with the only the juice from the berries. Mix all the ingredients together.

The batter for the second is very thin, and is supposed to be. Pour it on top of the cooked first layer and cook for an additional 25 minutes. When the top layer is no longer liquid the cake is done. Check how thin the top layer is by shaking the form a bit to see how the top layer moves.

Oreo cake

I have added a new cake to my list of favourites – oreo cake. It was served last weekend and was gone by the end of the day, which I see as an indication of success. The recipe was found at Trines Matblogg, which is unfortunately not in English. This is the cake and the recipe in Norwegian. 

The cake proved very easy to make; three layers, one bowl, and electrical whisk and a microwave is about all you need. Plus the ingredients:

First layer: 

300 grams of oreos

100 grams of butter

 

I melted the butter , threw in the oreos and mashed it all. Put all in a form directly on a serving platter.

 

Second layer 

200 grams of cream cheese

1 cup of frosting sugar

1/3 litres of cream

about 50 grams of oreos

 

Mix the cheese and frosting sugar, whip the cream and gently mix the lot. Chop the oreos and add to the mix.

 

Third layer: 

Chocolate mousse made from about 1,5 cups of milk

about 50 grams of oreos

 

I was lazy and did not bother making mousse from scratch. There are numerous recipes for mousse online, and there are most likely also ways to cheat no matter where you’re from.

 

The layers are made in chronological order. Simply put one on top of the other and decorate with chopped oreos and/or melted chocolate. The cake is as easy as it gets (at least if you don’t make the mousse from scratch). Hope you enjoy 🙂

I just won the lottery!

and I am now the wealthiest person in the world!

The past week has been packed with social events and I have managed to meet, face-to-face, many of those who have been neglected over the past year. The weekend was spent marking the end of an era, or what should have been the end of an era (nothing is ever black or white in my world), and many came to join the festivities.

I woke up early Sunday morning after having had no more than a few minutes at a time to myself since early Friday morning. I lay for a few minutes thinking back on the last two days, and the fact dawned on me; I must be the luckiest person alive.

 I am surrounded by the most amazing people in world.

From early Friday morning I have been surrounded by friends, good friends. Friends who seem to read my mind, who know what I’m about to say before I say it. Friends who listen when I need to talk, brighten my days and who indubitably have my back no matter what the world throws my way. Friends who are there to share laughter, and to share the tears. Friends who will give me their honest opinion, even if it’s not what I want to hear. And friends who will never disappear, not even in times where they are not my first priority.

To the list I can also add family and colleagues, though the lines between the three are thin – if they exist at all, especially since the latter is at the moment quite an abstract, and almost non-existent category. No matter how they can be categorised, members of both have pushed me on, encouraged, listened, debated and shared experiences that will keep us close for a long time to come. I do consider them all my friends, but they have also for a few years now played the parts of colleagues.

A light breeze through the brain

I have just finished the first literary book in, what seems like, ages. Based on my education I would have to say that the book should belong in the ‘crap’ genre. It’s one of those books you plough through, preferably while getting a tan on a beach close to the equator. This book is simple, easy to read, a complete no-brainer, and thus EXACTLY what I needed at the moment.

Madeleine Wickham, better known as Sophie Kinsella, is the author of the Shopaholic book series. Her books are witty, simple, predictable, cute, and lovely. This book is about Chloe, a mother of two, practically married, but is struggling in her relationship to her partner. A friend of them lends them his villa in Spain for a week, and of course, this week is supposed to fix all their problems. Once they get to the villa, it turns out it has been double booked. A family of four have been given access to the villa during the same week. Chloe and the husband of the other family has a history together, and so the drama unfolds.

If you’re looking for a light breeze through the brain. Pure entertainment that requires no mental exercise  what so ever, then this is the book for you. I will soon immerse myself in ‘Mini Shopaholic’ – I just need to find a proper paperback copy.