I’m wearing layer upon layer. Wool underneath. My hands are cold and so is my nose. I’m sneezing, often. I embrace my scarves, or they embrace me, on a daily basis, and hours every day. Winter is coming.
I’ve gone back to uni for another year while staying at home with Daughter for another year and for six weeks I’m working in a lower secondary school. I think refreshing has to be the right word to describe it. My mind is turned on again. I get to be myself outside the house without having my supernatural mother-power turned on constantly. I also have a very decent-length walk to get to work (although I often use the car) and I get to walk in silence and solitude with the brisk, cold air twirling around me harmfully caressing my bare cheeks.
The season is changing and the weather is protesting violently. The sunrise is bright pink and orange and the sky has just changed to a bleak blue before heavy grey clouds cover it up and drench themselves of bucketloads of water. The sun sets before, surprisingly early, and earlier every day and gives way to howling winds and thundering clouds.
The colours, the changes and the heavy dose of new impressions made by the young hopeful are making me feel poetic. I feel like I should find somewhere to sitsurrounded by the cold air and amid the magic colour combinations and pour all these feelings into words. But it’s been done before, and I don’t really have the time. But I breathe it all in: fill my head with the bright pink and soothing green, the surrendering orange and daunting red; fill my lungs with the cold; and push the darkness out of the corners of our house with candles burning with mellow yellow flames.
Autumn is here and the rain has set in. The little heat we had over the summer is disappearing fast and the temperature is just above two digits most of the days (actually ranging between 12 and 17 – but it’s getting cold). I like these days. I’m quite handicapped and have to spend most of my days indoors. The dark cozy evenings that I can spend snuggled up on the sofa with a huge cup of teas I welcome with open arms. And I can always dream about the paradise we visited this summer.
I’ll leave you with a few photos from the Garda lake area. Don’t let the dreary weather get you down!
We awoke to a cold, clear, and sunny morning. I moved at a slow pace, not fully awake, but with a wee child running beside me who obviously does mornings better than I do. The cat wanted some space and nagged me to follow her to the door. I shuffled over the kitchen floor towards the door. Opened the door, child still in tow, entered the small hallway, unlocked the door and opened it for the cat. Skeptical as she is I had to wait a wee while before she ventured outside. And as I stood there, my eyes almost shut, the sun reflected off something on the floorboards in front of me.
Magical fairies had rose painted them during the night…
I ran to get the camera and told Son that breakfast would have to wait a few minutes.
I’ve surrendered. Surrendered to autumn, dark skies, short days, everyday life, work, kindergarten – and most importantly large cups of tea, woolen blankets, candles, books and snuggling inside while the rain is hammering on the window. I now sit with a lit candle, a big cup of green tea with honey, and a few small late-summer flowers my parents picked while out walking with Son.
The temperature has given up, or I have lost hope in a sudden return of tropical heat and long summer nights. I am now officially ready for autumn. I caught myself looking at my winter shoes here the other day, thinking long and hard about whether I would pull it off wearing them to work, or if I would then diminish the hope of those of my colleagues who still hope for more summer days. My raincoat is ready and I sometimes long for my scarf and winter jacket.
I realise that it is only a few days since I walked the forests, a warm summer day, where I missed my bikini and longed for a proper swim in the river. I guess that was what I needed to let go of summer and be satisfied with the experiences I’ve had for the summer of 2011. I haven’t had a swim outside though, which I must have before completely letting go. It’s not very tempting, but it must be done…