A happy tale and three happy tails

These little cuties lived with us for a few weeks this summer. We found them in my parents’ garden, or it might be more correct to say that we took them, or they were left to us. Their mum, a very young stray cat, lives under a playhouse in my parents’ garden. She hid well while we were there this summer, only venturing into the garden after dusk to search for food for herself and her wee ones. We played in that garden all day, there were six kids under the age of six and plenty of adults. But then suddenly, in the middle of the day, while the youngest kids were taking a nap and the oldest kids were inside, while we were collecting all the toys, we noticed a small bundle of kittens in the centre of the garden. They were many metres from the playhouse and their hiding spot. Their mother must have carried them out, and then left them! They were just huddled together only moving over, under or on top of one another. My husband picked them up and we found a box for them. We didn’t want the six kids to attack them, so we left them outside. Their mum came out after a few hours. Located them and had a sniff, but then she left again.

During the next few weeks I was introduced to formula for kittens, read up on the sucking reflexes of young kittens, weighed, cuddled, played with, and most importantly, found new homes for these little heartbreakers. Their mum is no longer with us. She was a stray and a neighbour of my parents’ ended her life swiftly. The three kittens have new, loving families and a cared for very well.

Making lemonade from sour lemons

It’s one of them days, I’m blue-da-ba-dee and all that jazz. I had an exam and it did not at all go well. I passed, but that’s also all I can say. I’m struggling with it, I normally do fine on oral exams, and I know the curriculum well for this course, but I blew it today. Honestly, I made a proper fool of myself. I want to blame it on my health. The kids have something similar to the stomach flu, and I’m not feeling too good myself, but I’m not sure that was nerves before the exam and generally feeling like shite after. I didn’t feel to nervous either, I was asked to come in 15 minutes early and didn’t mind at all. But I was feeling cold before going in, shivering slightly, my stomach was turning, and I couldn’t quite concentrate. Normal nerves for me, but then I came in and I still couldn’t concentrate. Every question was followed by a blank mind. I was given a book and all I could see was a colourful cover with a few hundred blank pages. Thoughts would never connect. I’ve never felt so silly and helpless my entire life, or at least not that I can remember today.

I’m embarrassed, I think that is my main feeling. I’m usually better than this. I do hope that I am better than this, I have much to show that would prove that I am much better than what I did today, but I have been fighting hard with myself all day to convince myself of that, and I’m still not winning. I’m not posting here for your pity. If a friend of mine had gone through the same I’d say that it can happen to the best of us, a proper brain freeze. And that’s what I will have to tell myself.

As I said, I’m mostly embarrassed and I don’t want people to know. So that is where I have to start. It’s out there now, I failed, almost. I could take the exam again, or I can just try and shake it off, I’ll shake. New exams coming up soon where I can prove to myself that I am better than what I showed today. And for now, I’ll try and change my focus.

The glamorous librarian posted this list the other day, I’ll make it my own and turn this evening around. Hand-picked wild-flowers from my Son

I like a good cup of tea, the warm summer days we have now, how the seeds we’ve planted have decided to join us above ground as small, green, embodiments of miracles, how my two children laugh together, the smell of spring, and the look-of-a-thousand-words that I share with my husband. 

I sing songs by Travis in the spring, they’re often sad but with a catchy and happy tone to them. Biffy Clyro is always on in my car and when I work out, I sing as loud as I can, but without opening my mind while in the gym. Adele is for when I need to calm my mind or feel emotional, I sing my daughter the same lullaby every night, and anything off the radio can be repeated over and over during the day. 

I love my family, my friends, my life, my focus on happiness, and all that is good in the world. 

I’m not particularly good at admitting my mistakes, giving myself the benefit of the doubt, being patient with my children, doing house-chores, or finding time for myself. 

I prefer tea to coffee, summer to winter, car to plane. 

I’m addicted to love, tea, colour, solitude, silence, sleep, smiles, and positive thinking. 

I’m wearing all black but with a floral, pink and white top. 

I drink water.

I’m listening to Travis and their album ‘The Man Who’. 

I get irritated and annoyed by negativity, complaining over things that could easily be changed, consumerism, whining. 

I’m scared of losing those who are dear to me, losing what I love, zombies, and powerful, self-centred people with low empathic abilities. 

I wish for a peaceful and natural world, lazy summer days, blooming peonies, vegetables from my garden and all the best for everyone. 

I’m embarrassingly bad at dealing with failures.

 

Thank you for reading through. I’m now feeling better.

 

And, by the way, my examiner today is a colleague of mine from August on. Talk about a good first impression!

Pure bliss

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I’m flat at in my bed and this is my view. It’s warm, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the seagulls call everyone out to enjoy the warm rays from the sun. I’m in such a state of bliss. My energy level is soaring. I feel head-over-heels in love and I spend my days humming, singing and dancing. I barely slept last night, but I don’t care. Daughter didn’t sleep much either, and has been whining all morning, I’m fine with that too! She’s taking a nap now, sleeping peacefully in her buggy out in the fresh air. I need to plant some flowers soon, I’ve seen a few bumblebees and butterflies briefly visit our yard, I need to give them a reason to stay a little longer. Our magnolia tree is coming to life again, slowly and carefully. The peonies have started stretching up from the dark soil and present clear indications of a flowery and colourful summer. I have my summer playlist on on spotify and soon I’ll jump out of bed again and dance around while doing a few chores. Enjoy spring!

Embrace the cold season

IMG_2507I’m wearing layer upon layer. Wool underneath. My hands are cold and so is my nose. I’m sneezing, often. I embrace my scarves, or they embrace me, on a daily basis, and hours every day. Winter is coming.

I’ve gone back to uni for another year while staying at home with Daughter for another year and for six weeks I’m working in a lower secondary school. I think refreshing has to be the right word to describe it. My mind is turned on again. I get to be myself outside the house without having my supernatural mother-power turned on constantly. I also have a very decent-length walk to get to work (although I often use the car) and I get to walk in silence and solitude with the brisk, cold air twirling around me harmfully caressing my bare cheeks.

The season is changing and the weather is protesting violently. The sunrise is bright pink and orange and the sky has just changed to a bleak blue before heavy grey clouds cover it up and drench themselves of bucketloads of water. The sun sets before, surprisingly early, and earlier every day and gives way to howling winds and thundering clouds.

The colours, the changes and the heavy dose of new impressions made by the young hopeful are making me feel poetic. I feel like I should find somewhere to sitsurrounded by the cold air and amid the magic colour combinations and pour all these feelings into words.  But it’s been done before, and I don’t really have the time. But I breathe it all in: fill my head with the bright pink and soothing green, the surrendering orange and daunting red; fill my lungs with the cold; and push the darkness out of the corners of our house with candles burning with mellow yellow flames.

High summer adventures

Chattering delightfully - High summer adventuresSome kids were visiting. I took them out exploring in the neighbourhood that was unknown and exciting to them. Two little girls, sun-kissed legs under floral summer dresses, one little boy with a bushy blond hair and big blue eyes, the fourth child, a little girl, in a buggy with bare toes pointing straight up at the blue sky.

A turn right and we found two large redcurrant shrubs. All speaking children claimed not to like redcurrants. The baby is still omnivorous, she loved them. I dared the older children to find the brightest coloured berry. Halfway through the competition I told them that if they did find the brightest berry they had to hurry and eat it, before I did.  Suddenly they all liked redcurrants, and always had. Next they learned how to eat all the berries off a cluster, or raceme. Suddenly they loved redcurrants. We picked a few more racemes to bring as snacks on our little venture. We moved on.

Further down the road we found eggs. Huge, round, bright-white eggs. The wee boy claimed they were balls of hay, wrapped in plastic. But after a few winks and raise of the eyebrows followed by a smile he enthusiastically joined in on the story that these eggs were tractor eggs. Each egg containing a wee baby tractor just waiting to grow big enough to come out. Some were probably purple, some were pink, and some had to be red, because the kids had seen that on the telly.

The best surprise came down the opposite direction of the same road. While discussing where the “shrunkens” (tiny little humans who had set up a tiny heliport in one of the gardens around us) might be hiding from us. The the youngest speaking girl let out a shriek and stared at me with terror in her eyes pointing at something I at first didn’t see behind the buggy. A kitten. Coal black and younger than four months. It came running towards us, tail high. It purred and it played and had two of the kids jump around, sweeping, swinging and waving straws for the kitty to play with. The terrified little girl found refuge in my arms, while the youngest of them all had fallen asleep in the buggy.

We played and we ran, we skipped and we jumped. But suddenly our adventure had come to and end. The wee boy was injured. The kitty’s claw had hit a spot of unarmoured flesh and torn it up to the extent where nothing could fix it but a small plaster from the zoo, preferably one with a giraffe on it. The tiger patterned would not do, the tiger being  too closely related to the little cat. To take his mind of the toe, which he was afraid would be his bane, we turned our attention to the flowers growing on the side of the road. By the time we came back to the waiting plaster we had picked ourselves a nice little bouquet.

The flowers decorated the table for some days. The weather changed and summer-dresses gave way to warmer garments. Closing my eyes I can still hear the children laughing, the birds singing, the soft purring of the cat.

Soul lotion

I’ve heard some call it lotion for the soul. It is soothing. It is refreshing. So I can see why.

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Today my lotion was scented with the smell of sun-heated fields and a breeze surfing through huge, ancient oak trees. It also contained corn and potato fields, summer flowers and an eight-month-old littlegirl with a smile that put the sun to shame.

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All if this is just off my doorstep these days. What is the best lotion for your soul?

 

 

Lazy summer days

We have returned to where we speak the language fluently and are enjoying lazy days together. Today the sun is shining, we enjoy a temperature of slightly more than 20 degrees, and there’s a light breeze that keeps the hair away from my face. The sky is blue, the grass is green, the company is good and life is at its best.

 

I hope you are all enjoying the summer and making the best of it.